Intelligent Design

"If a watch is so complicated it requires a watchmaker, the watchmaker, being even more complex, requires a maker, too. That maker, being more complex still, requires its own maker. Ad infinitum. Intelligent design implies a universe packed with gods, and casts more reasonable doubt on monotheism than on evolution."

Tom Weishaar
New York, New York


"I'm designed intelligently? As far as I can see, I was designed by an idiot. My parts are neither interchangeable nor replaceable. I could use a new ankle right now, and almost everything I do injures my back. Some of my internal organs are useless and can even kill me. My risk-calculation engine is useless. I am afraid to eat beef, but have no problem catapulting myself down tree-lined roads on my motorcycle. My judgment is so bad I can be convinced to send my life savings to a complete stranger with just one phone call.

The final stake in the heart of ID is that there are people we might otherwise consider intelligent who, in the face of all this, maintain we are functioning as intended."

Eric Dietiker
Twain Harte, California

Why do we like music?

Why do we like music, or rather, why do we prefer music? In an age when technology allows us easy access to video, we still prefer music. We often prefer text to voice communication, using instant messaging applications instead of making a phone call. The Video iPod was just launched, and I have a strong feeling it won't fly. Sure, people will want to carry the occasional clip around and watch last nights Daily Show while they commute (think Tivo), but it seems to me like video simply doesn't have the same appeal as music. Why?

oral sex instructions for men

This was posted on CL today. I found it very interesting, and since CL deletes pages after about a month I decided to post it here so it is preserved somehow.

I posted earlier about guys who think they're good at oral sex when they're not. I got way too many emails to respond to. A lot of them were guys insisting that they really are good at oral sex, which was pretty funny, but some of you seemed sincere about wanting to learn. Unfortunately, I don't have any interest in being a travelling oral sex instructor. I've got my own guy at home to teach.

So here's the low down. Simple answer: She wants the same thing you do.

Imagine there's an area about the size of the head of your penis centered on her clit. That means the stuff above and below and all the way around the clit, not just the tip of clit itself. The underside of the clit is the best part and just above the clit is the shaft. You know it has a shaft, right? Don't ignore it. Now pretend the rest of the area (vagina, lips) is the equivalent of the shaft of your penis. Then do to her what you want her to do to you.

Let's begin. Once you've gotten the whole area thoroughly wet with saliva and you've done a brief bit of exploring and teasing, stick mostly to the good stuff. Again, that's that area about the size of the head of your penis that's centered around her clit. Some people have a psychological thing about teasing being sexy but a lot of us don't. Get to the good stuff before we get bored. Also, I'm a lot more open to being teased by someone who's already proven to me that they'll eventually deliver. Until I know that, it's not teasing; it's just unfocused.

Apply pressure. Not light, little, pointy licks. This is the number one mistake guys make. How would you like it if I made my tongue pointy and took tiny little licks at the most sensitive spot on the head of your dick? It would start to get annoying wouldn't it? You want pressure, you want motion, you want wetness. Me too. Make a big, broad tongue and take huge, firm licks with it. Mash your face in there. Use your upper lip to pull down against your lower lip. It's a different angle, but think about what my upper lip is doing when I'm going down on you. It's applying firm pressure and motion to the other side of the head. Your upper lip will be applying firm pressure and motion to the shaft of my clit. Meanwhile, the tongue is both cushioning the teeth and licking. So the mouth is going up and down (open and closed) and the tongue is moving even faster than that.

Get a rhythym going. Start light and slow and work up. Go harder and faster until I come or say ouch. Don't wait until I'm most of the way there and then decide to go lick around the vaginal opening again. That's not where the action is. Mixing it up towards the beginning is good, just not when it's getting good at the end.

Sucking is good but you can't do it constantly. Some sucking towards the start can help draw the blood into the clit, thereby making it more sensitive. Then sucking towards the end can be what pushes me over. Don't suck more than maybe 15 seconds at a time. Break it up with the licking.

Tongue fucking: don't bother. If a tongue was all it took, men with 1 1/2 inch dicks would be in huge demand. I don't want to start the whole dick size debate but let's just say that there's such a thing as too small and your tongue is too small.

Fingers: with respect to finger fucking, see above. So what about "spreading my lips" with your fingers as you're all so proud of reporting you will do? What the fuck for? So you won't get messy? If your face is mushed in there good and hard, those lips will spread themselves. Don't try to get my clit out where you can delicately touch it with nothing but the tip of your tongue. Smash yourself in there. Think hungry dog. Grab on and go grrrrrr from side to side. Shake it. Your face should be wet.

But what about the G-spot? This is an area where women differ so you'll have to find out, but I'd leave it out until you've mastered the basics. For me, an orgasm with g-spot stimulation is different from an orgasm without. It's hard to say one is better than the other. Best way to describe it is that a purely clitoral orgasm is more pure and focused whereas an orgasm with g-spot stimulation is deeper and more whole body. They're both nice but when I'm getting oral I'm generally looking for that pure all-clit feelings. Sometimes I like a couple all-clit, then a couple with g-spot, then back to all-clit. You're going to have to find out from her.

Supposing you do decide to add g-spot, here's how. Put one finger in and leave it in. No insy-outsy. Your chin should be too much in the way for that anyway. Put the tip of your finger against the top wall and make a "here kitty, kitty, kitty" motion. Don't get so distracted by this you lose the tongue action. Consider it advanced and optional technique.

How do you know when you're done? She'll tell you. Keep going until she pulls away from you. Here's how to tell a real, really good orgasm from a fake one - she'll stop you and hard. You know how after you come the head of your penis is horribly sensitive? We can tell when you come thanks to the semen squirting out of you so we know when to back off and get gentle. You're not so lucky about knowing when to back off so you're going to have to let her say ouch and pull away. Don't quit until then. A woman goes through plateaus or peaks on the way to an orgasm. Each one feels good but if you keep going there's another, higher one. Even she may not know how high she can go and there's certainly no way for you to guess. So don't quit until she yanks herself away from you. Are you done? No. Just as you find it pleasant for a woman to gently (gently!) lick you after you come, so do we. When she pulls away, steady her with your hands on her thighs. Then take some nice, long, very wet licks from the vagina up over the clitm with your tongue a little pointy. Done right, you'll release an aftershock with each stroke.

Are you done NOW? No. When her legs relax and she stops shuddering every time you run over the clit, then it's time to start again. The best part about being a woman is that not only can we do it all again sixty seconds later, but the next orgasm will be faster and better than the last one. At some point, this stops being true. That's probably an individual thing. Me, it's maybe six or seven and then they start taking longer and are less strong so that's a good place to stop. Again, stop when she tells you to stop.

I'm not saying you have to do the whole six-orgasm routine every time, but if you're going to claim that you love oral and you're good at it, you should understand the standards by which you'll be judged.

Healing Objects

I recently scratched my car while driving it out of the garage. It felt bad, because I know there is no way to ever revert it to its original condition. Those scratches will be there forever--too small to justify expensive body work, but big enough to be noticeable.

It's the 21st century. Where are the healing materials? When I cut my finger, I don't give it too much thought, knowing the cut will heal in a matter of days, leaving no traces behind. If I break a leg, that's a different story. The bone will heal too, but not without proper treatment.

Similarly, there are many mechanical components of a car that will always require replacement or repair, but it seems to me that we already have the technology to coat vehicles in healing materials:

http://www2.rnw.nl/rnw/en/features/science/050801rf?view=Standard

Where are these cars? I want one!

Stop for the School Bus

I mentioned briefly the other day that we are raising our children with a wrong image of how the world works. This reminded me of another pet peeve I have: school busses. In this country, if a school bus pulls over to drop of children, all cars on both sides of the road must stop and wait for the children to get off the bus and possibly cross the street.

I have no doubt this law was introduced to save the lives of countless little brats that never learned to cross the street responsibly. I also have no doubt countless lives were indeed saved. What are we teaching these children though? Are we not slowly conditioning them to believe the world around them has to come to a standstill and wait for them to "cross the street?" Hm... How about a nation that thinks is the most powerful in the world, and expects other countries to stop until it "does its thing" over in that oil-rich desert?

Well, that's probably an exageration and a bad analogy, but my point is, we are teaching these kids that it is OK for them to expect everyone else to watch THEIR backs. I see them streaming out of these busses and dashing across the street, assuming (correctly) that all cars have stopped and it is OK for them not to check for traffic. It gets worse, too. Not long ago I was driving on a 6-lane large street in one of the big cities around here. A schoolbus stopped at the sidewalk, right on the corner of an intersection, and unloaded its precious cargo. About 10-15 kids in their mid teens then leisurely started crossing in all directions, straight through the middle of the intersection, while cars on all sides are waiting. When I say leisurely, I mean SLOOOOWLY, with an obvious attitude. Mind you, these are not first graders, but older kids we normally tend to almost regard as adults. What will they act like when they are "actual" adults?

I see the same kind of thing every morning on my way to work, as "crossing guards" stop the traffic, red light or not, so that the poor helpless children get to where they're going. What happened to teaching our kids how to wait for a green light, check for traffic, and so on? Is it truly surprising that we see a complete lack of responsibility and sense of self-preservation in our adults when this is how we educate our children?

I grew up in a different part of the world where there were no schoolbusses. My school was on the opposite side of the large city. In first and second grade my mother would drive me to school before she went to work every morning, and then back home at noon on her lunch break. In third grade I started going and coming back on my own. It was a 10 minute walk to the subway, 30 minutes or so on the subway, and 10 more minutes to the school. On this daily commute of mine I would cross all kinds of streets, small and large, manage my own subway money, and make sure I didn't get crushed on the train (it was PACKED every day). There were thousands of other kids, just like me, doing the same thing every morning. There still are, in many other places around the world.

Does the kind of cocooning we practice with our American kids today save lives? Does it prevent injuries? Sure. Is the damage and permanent scarring we inflict to their minds worth it, is it worth it to us as a society? I don't think so.

Desilusions

There is a new popular song on the radio. I don' t know what it's called, but it goes something along the lines of "you're beautiful ... and I'll never be with you, and I don't know what to do."

Sadly, this is yet another item of mainstream culture that reinforces stereotypes which, in my opinion, has damaging psychological effects. The song is popular because we all identify with it. We've all been there--seeing someone we are attracted to on the street, on the subway, in a restaurant. We are attracted, don't do anything about it, and know we will never get to meet that person. Later we lament about how unlucky we are to not have met someone like that.

My first impulse was to shout: why can't we have songs that teach us to WALK up to that beautiful woman or hot guy and TALK to them? I then realized this song I am hearing on the radio actually bothers me for a different reason. The message is, hey, there's this gorgeous chick on the subway, she's with someone else, and I'll never have her.

So what, I say? There are a million other women out there you probably would find just as attractive. You will never meet them. If you did meet them and end up having a relationship, how long would it last before your thoughts move on to the next attractive woman that you just spotted on the subway?

Unfortunately movies, music, and advertising all reinforce the concept that there's this one person we will be happy with. Guy gets girl, and they live happily ever after. The End. Why do all movies end like that? How about one where guy gets girl, they live happily together for two years, and then the relationship slowly degrades due to routine, boredom, lust for other women, etc.? How about art that reflects life, rather than art that promotes an idyllic image that is simply unattainable?

I propose that by reinforcing these stereotypes and by allowing ourselves to endulge in the pleasures of this dream world we are doing a lot of damage. Daydreaming is pleasant and probably important for our psychological well-being, but are we not raising our children with a wrong picture of the world? Guy does not always get girl. Girl and guy do not happily live ever after. Grow up, move on, and accept your reality.

To go full circle, back to our song now. Yes, the girl is beatiful. Yes, you will never meet her, even though you probably COULD do something about that. The point, however, is that it DOESN'T MATTER if you meet her or not. She is one many other attractive women you will come across in your life. Stop lamenting about her and move on to the next. Was this love at first sight, was this the one that got away, your only chance of meeting the one single person that would have made you happy? Oh please...

M Theory

I am watching a TV documentary about M theory, the lastest incarnation of string theory. I am surprised at how much it bothers me that it falls short of offering any answers, and instead introduces yet more complications to an already complicated universe. Until now, the philosopher in me had to deal with the idea of a big bang. With M theory, big bangs could be happening all the time not just in other parallel universes, but also in our own, every time a neighboring brane collides with ours.

I have no doubt there may be interesting solutions to various unsolved problems in M theory, but do we really need to complicate the (multi?)verse further? What is the point of this? Stephen Hawking noted once that he is not interested in the events before the big bang because our laws of physics, our time and space, did not exist prior to it. Thus higher dimensions are outside of our reach.

M theory also postulates that it may be possible to communicate with other universes located on parallel branes by using gravity waves, which apparently can escape any single brane and travel to a neighboring one. If such an exotic concept ever becomes reality, would we be able to communicate with itelligent species in other universes? If the laws of physics are radically different there, would communication be possible at all? Common reference points would be inexistent. How would we establish common language?

This line of thought brought me to our brains. It's amazing how we evolved to the point of reflectling about our own universe and our place in the greater scope of things. The way David Darling puts it, the universe is reflecting on itself through us. The fact that us, with our insignifficant life spans and abilities, are pondering these questions is mind boggling. Ultimately though, what good is it? Our civilization will eventually come to an end. It has to, it is only a matter of time, even if that is a very long time. How many more intelligences like ours have evolved before and vanished? How many more similar questions were asked, answered, and then forgotten forever?

Prayer

Are you religious? What do you usually pray for? "Oh god, please let me win the lottery." "God, please let the bank approve my mortgage." "Please god, please let my son come back alive from Iraq."

Assuming there is a god, how can we be so vain as individuals and imagine a superior intelligence would care in the least about our prayers? If there is a master plan, your desires, hopes, fears, they all make no difference. You are a small, insignificant, disposable gear in an immense machine that has plenty of redundancy built in. Why would a god listen to your prayers?